'Let's just relax and try......!

Hello...!

So I last left off saying that we started trying.I don't even know what I was thinking,I thought that our reproductive  systems were magic or something that I thought that we would  fall pregnant miraculously the same month itself.Now,coming to think of it I want to laugh at my naivete.The first month my periods also mocked at me and taunted me by getting delayed,I remember being so excited the first time I peed on the stick,waiting those five minutes so surely beleiving that my life was about to change and indeed it changed,in ways I could not even fathom.Then came the series of negative,stark negative tests looking up at me and Ashwin.The heartbreak that a tiny card could give us,was humongous as you stand powerless and helpless before it.

Something did not feel right in my heart.Maybe call it a female intuition or whatever!That is about the time my tryst with anxiety started.The trepidation month after month took a toll on me.I was a nervous wreck and I would bawl my eyes out.Our happiness,our small world was shattered.Everything revolved around our inability to conceive.I drove myself insane reading stuff up online,talking to people and fretting and fuming.

One very very common thing people would commonly come up during this time was this dialogue,"Just relax and try guys"!.Like seriously,if I hear that from one more person,honest to God I will lose it!

There are so many ways of expressing in words your support to an infertile couple,but this phrase isn't

one of them.I realise that the other person means well but it really does not bode well with me at all!

Trying to rephrase with stuff like,"I know it is pretty difficult,Do you want to talk about it? or "I am always there for you.".Thankfully,I have my squad of a sibling and super close friends who have been so sensitive and always offered a shoulder when I was down.

Until and unless you are in a particular situation,you never realise the brevity of words spoken by people.Being there for someone during this trialling period just a phone call away is a huge thing!All I am saying is,be sensitive and show some kindness.

Ok,too much philosophy.Going on with my story,about ten months into this period we decided to get ourselves tested.We went through a series of invasive,nerve wracking tests.

More on that in the next entry..